I’m all about frugal living, but there are some things that I would never do.   I know some of you have honed in on your inner cheapness. Don’t lie!  It’s not bad, it’s economical.  Yes, economical, that’s the euphemism I was looking for.  That’s probably what you say to yourself when you partake in any of these activities below.  Haha.   Collaborating with my good friend Jackie, we were able to come up with twelve ways to be a Real Slim Shady. None of it is illegal, but most are definitely on the fringe of frugality.  To each his own.

Here’s our list:

1.  Not leaving a tip. That’s pretty shady.   Standard tip in the US is 15%. Love it or hate it, it’s almost your obligation to give a tip. Even with the worst service, I would still at least tip a dollar at restaurants.  It’s a slap in face, but hey, it’s something.

2.  Taking more napkins than you really need. Do you really need all those napkins for your bucket of chicken? C’mon.

3.  Taking too many free AOL / Netzero setup CDs. I’m guilty here. You would think I would use them for coasters right? Wrong! I use them to prevent birds from eating my fruit! Like so…

I know it looks tacky, but birds hate it!

4.  Going to Costco simply for free samples. At least buy a hotdog!

5.  Not leaving a donation.  This is specifically for service events (ie car washes) held by your local high school / church.  Even if it’s called a “FREE CAR WASH”, you got to at least support the fundraisers.  Maybe I’m just bitter.  When I was in high school, people would skip the donation box every time!

6.  Always asking to carpool, but never offering in return. Very green, but in bad form. I know someone that always does this. I’m sure you do too.

7.  Not bringing anything to a potluck. I have been to a work potluck with 20+ people and 4 small dishes. It was sad. In fact, it resulted in drastic measures the next time we had a potluck. “If you don’t bring food, you don’t get any”.

8.  Treating bookstores like libraries.  Go to bookstores to read the books and magazines but don’t end up buying them. This is so common it’s not even funny.   I admit, I do this.  I love reading.

9.  Being a WiFi bandit.  Staking a claim at local coffee shops to use their WiFi without buying anything.  Similar to number 8, but instead of reading books, you’re just being a leach and taking up space.  I once saw a guy plug in a fax machine at local coffee shop.  What the frak?  (my inner geek coming out)

10.  Taking all the toiletries from your hotel.  Another common one.  Like what Ross Gellar says to Chandler from the show Friends, “You have to find the line between stealing and what the hotel owes you. Um for example, hair dryer no no no, but shampoos and conditioners, ah yes yes yes.”

11.  Having the guy pay for everything.  A lot of girls go on dates and have the guy pay for everything, and even pick her up. Smart way to save money, be entertained, eat for free, and save gas. (It’s nice being a girl – Jackie)

12.  Over-welcoming your stay at a buffet.  We know that you paid for your time to eat.  But when you’ve sat through two meal course changes.  You gotta go.  Buffets that last 2-3 hours don’t count! =)

I am sure that this list is on the tip of the iceberg.  We had a bunch of other ideas, but they were either illegal or you’d probably get fired for being so cheap.  What about the rest of you Slim Shadies?  I’m sure you can come up with other activities.  Discretion is warranted.

Au Revoir

Photo Credit: Dan Cowell

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